Today was another great devotional about God’s intentions
when he designed marriage. I have
to be honest, I was a little lost when I read the scripture. The part about wives submitting to your
husbands made me feel a little inferior to my husband, but the more I read, the
more I understood the context.
Today’s devotional about the design of marriage put my marriage into
perspective even more. My husband,
Torey, needs my devoted respect while I undoubtedly need his unconditional
love. I guess at times I felt like
this equation has been reversed for us in the past and I have been through rough times in our marriage where I felt like respecting him wasn't even on my list! I now have a greater understanding of what it means for my
marriage to be a reflection of God’s love story of Jesus’ love for the
Church. I need to respect my
husband always no matter the circumstances and he needs to always love me.
Torey is really hard worker and is the majority of our
financial support right now, so today’s challenge to tell him one reason I
respect him was easy. I plan to
tell him how I appreciate and respect his hard working capabilities and usually
without a single complaint.
What did you all think about the scripture today? And do you find it sometimes difficult to respect your husbands regardless of deserving it?
Part 1
ReplyDeleteOk this is the second attempt at me trying to post today. I have no patience left at this point I don't think. And apparently I exceeded the maximum character limit for this blog.
Trista, Thanks for getting the discussion going.
Have you ever had a day that feels like a total waste? Or that you're just spinning your wheels? Well that has been my day today! Justin and I have opposite schedules. He is working at Amazon right now as he job hunts for positions in his field. He works Friday-Monday. I am working part time at a chiropractic office Monday, Wed, and Thursday. So Tuesdays are kind of our day together. We had a counseling session scheduled this afternoon at 2 pm. We have started going to counseling through the church we attend as the first four months of our marriage has been rough (that's putting it mildly). So we get up off the comfy couch, get ready and drive to the church. We get there and find out the counselor has double booked the 2 pm slot. So we are forced to reschedule for tomorrow just an hour before I am scheduled to work. Talk about annoyed and disappointed! Justin was trying to change my outlook from being upset ( I know he meant well.) and ended up saying I shouldn't feel upset. This led into an argument. We ran a few errands, which included dealing with Walgreens pharmacy and them messing up a prescription. It's all the little things that add up and make for a rough day, isn't it? Justin and I continue to argue. I told him I was going to drop him off at home then I was going to go out by myself for a little while (he was driving me nuts). He got upset when we got home. He ended up dropping a 12 pack of canned sodas in the driveway (some of them busted leaking everywhere), a bag of ice, and his new Alabama tumbler I got him as a graduation gift which shattered. I left anyway. When I got home about 30 minutes later, Justin was almost in tears telling me about the shattered tumbler and how he had already ordered a new one. What a day! Please send prayers my (our) way today!
Trina, always remember that God is at the center of your marriage. You and Justin are not left to figure this whole marriage thing out on your own. In fact, God doesn't want you to.
DeleteYou absolutely have my prayers!
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteOk on to today's topic. The area of respect is one I struggle with a lot. I feel like it’s hard to give Justin respect if he hasn't earned it. I also agree with Trista about the scripture reading for today and feeling inferior. But I don't think that is the intention of the reading. But I think in our society of equal rights, many interpret this particular reading that way. But as the pastor we did our pre-marital counseling with said, the husband must submit to Christ. Of course we must submit to Christ, too. The submission to our husband is as he is the spiritual leader of the household as designed by God. Thus, I just think about it like we are both submitting to God. In obedience to God, I am submitting to my husband as the head of the household. If that makes sense?
So here is a question for you... What's one thing that makes it hard for you to respect your husband? For me it is hard when I don't feel like he is putting forth as much effort as I am towards our marriage. I feel like well he's not trying why should he have my respect. Another why I am really disrespectful is with my body language. Eye rolling, sighing, my tone of voice. I am guilty of all of it. I am convicted with today's topic and know I need God to intervene. Here's hoping we can actually have a counseling session tomorrow so maybe we can discuss my lack of respect for my husband!!
Here is a quote from another wife that I really identified with.
Karen Beasley Johnson mentioned:
"I think as women we want our husbands to be that Mr.right, so that means he should do everything right:). However, it is not that way and being married 20 years I have gone through the why should I respect him when he doesn't even do right by God or me. I have learned the only person you can change... Is yourself with God. So, instead of judging and being disrespectful as a wife I do what I am called to do as a child of God, acting accordingly and pray a lot for him:). God will bless you for your faithfulness. When you let go and let God it gives you peace and your husband will notice. It's easier to show respect when you think on things that he does do well and focus on that and pray for the other."
As for today's challenge. I plan to talk to Justin at dinner tonight and tell him that what I respect about him is his willingness to go to counseling with me and work on us. I respect him for working a job he is so overly qualified for to contribute to us financially until God's plan for employment is further revealed to us.
I also was very disturbed by the scripture at first when it discussed wives submitting to their husbands. I believe that we are equal, and after giving the scripture more thought, I realized that God felt the same way. We both submit to God; however, the husband is considered to be the spiritual leader. It is still a little hard to swallow, but I am getting there.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with respecting my husband since I am so used to being in control. I am a strong-willed person who is very opinionated. I realized that I need to respect my husband by telling him that I appreciate everything he does for our family. He works, helps cook and clean, and listens to me ramble on about various topics all the time. He is wonderful, and I plan to tell him that more often.
Michelle, I can relate to your need to be in control!
DeleteThis scripture is definitely one that I find difficult to swallow at times. I continue to struggle with submission after almost eight years of marriage. I contribute this struggle to my need for control in almost every situation. I have to remind myself that marriage is God's design and that submission is not a sign of value. As I read recently, "Jesus submitted to the will of his Father. His submission had nothing to do with his value. It had to do with God-ordained structure." It is the same for husband and wife.
ReplyDeleteToday's devotional reminded me of many conversations that Chris and I had with our pastor during marriage counseling several years ago. I didn't feel like Chris deserved my respect because he wasn't showing me unconditional love. This is what our pastor said, "Part of gracing one another is doing for each other with no strings attached. The goal is not a 50/50 partnership, but that each spouse extends 100% grace to one another." This was HUGE for us and really changed our marriage at that point. I stopped focusing on what Chris was doing (or not doing) and began focusing on what I could do to live out God's purpose for my marriage.
A resource that was recommended to us that we now highly recommend to our newly married friends is the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We all have a love language. This book allows you and your husband to discover your unique love language and provides practical steps for meeting each other's love language.
Also, I wanted to share a blog written by our pastor that counseled us years ago. It is titled, 7 Acts of Grace in a Marriage. A lot of what we learned through counseling is written in this blog.
http://www.ronedmondson.com/2014/01/7-acts-of-grace-in-a-marriage.html
When I am able to talk to Chris, I will tell him that I respect him for submitting to God's will and never giving up on our marriage. Despite the three times that we filed for divorce, God continued to bring us back to one another and speak His purpose into our marriage. Thank God we did not lean on our own understanding!
ReplyDelete