I hope everyone is enjoying this weekend and staying warm.
Day 13... Pride. Today as I was reading my pencil was going nuts highlighting scripture reading and Jennifer's writing on pride. I am guilty of being prideful, no doubt about that one. I first wanted to talk about the focus verses for today.
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
To me in this verse the term fall could mean a failure, a fall in my marriage. A fall usually causes harm and even injury, right. Pride happens just before a fall. It is sort of like cause and effect. This verse really stuck out to me when I was reading today. So I thought I would start with it.
Also, the verse Matthew 5:5 is part of a set of verses called the Beatitudes. It is a powerful set of verses in scripture. If you haven't ever read them through before I would just encourage you to take a minute and read them. They are Matthew 5:2-12.
As for Jennifer's writing today, here are somethings that I highlighted that stuck out to me and that I identified with.
" Pride will convince you that your opinions, your actions, and your ways can all be justified as right"
" I can do it on my own"
" it keeps you from praying"
"it will keep you from apologizing, and it will keep you from forgiving"
"Pride gives birth to bitterness and resentment."
Wow! True, True and True! Does anyone else really identify with these statements, or is it just me?
The first 3 months of my marriage was a disaster. I had so much bitterness and resentment towards Justin for many different reasons (having to live at my mom's instead of having our own place, him not having a job lined up, him being delayed in finishing his school program, etc). Night after night, argument after argument the devil was really attacking our marriage. Our marriage was under attack as if we were a small country being bombed by our enemies left and right. I remember even saying during several of our fights, I can do it all on my own, I don't need you. Now as I write this today I am so ashamed of all the hurtful things I have said and done to my husband out of pride. I cannot get back those 3 months, I cannot take back the hurtful, prideful words/actions I already said and did. I can only continue to ask God to change my heart and move forward in doing my part to make my marriage grow. I can ask for forgiveness and move away from my pride.
In today's video, Jennifer talked about how in the beginning she used to think, I'm not the problem. What's wrong with my husband." I had the same mentality. And I would get angry at God and ask why are you allowing this to happen. I am trying and nothing is working." Nothing was working because I was still full of pride, bitterness, and resentment. With all of that how can their be any room in a person's heart to love and forgive. It was not until I actually started praying for God to change my heart, forgive me for my actions, and start trusting in His plan for us that our marriage has slowly started to turn around. Of course we had done several other things to improve it such as joining a Life Group at church, doing the Love Dare devotional together each night and praying together afterwards, and going to counseling through our church each week.
I am curious ladies, do you and your hubby pray together regularly?
Pride keeps me from reconciling with my husband after conflict. I don’t want to give in and make it seem like what happened was ok, and for some reason I convince myself that making-up sends that message. In my hurt I want my husband to feel hurt too, so I withhold forgiveness, kindness, love, compassion. But this is not what Jesus teaches! Over the years I have become much better at laying down my pride to preserve my marriage!
- Jennifer Smith