Sunday, February 23, 2014

Day 28: Intimacy in Marriage

I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend.

Today's topic is one that I wish would have been earlier in the devotional.  I struggle with intimacy in my marriage personally and I am really glad that Jennifer included it in her devotional.  I learned a lot about the other ways to increase intimacy with Torey by honest communication, sexual intimacy, praying together, confessing sins to one another, doing date nights (I have never thought of date nights in the context of intimacy before - cool!), sharing goals and dreams, serving and blessing each other, and pursuing each other passionately.  I also learned that over time these things will build trust, faithfulness and confidence in each other.  I feel like there are definitely ways that Torey and I can build intimacy after all of our brokenness after our son was born.  That process will be a rebuilding process that will take lots of time.

I also like how Jennifer says that marriage will reach fulfillment when we both work towards oneness, but we both each are called to do our parts despite what the other is doing or not doing.

Is there anything that keeps you from initiating intimacy with your husbands?  I find that for me, feeling vulnerable and that my husband fully knowing me and judging me keeps me from initiating intimacy at times.


  1. Today's devotional was very powerful. I feel like intimacy is one area where my marriage struggles. I loved the part where the author stated that "God's purpose for marriage is for a husband and wife to experience a love relationship, where the ups and downs draw them closer together, a place where true intimacy strives."

    I feel like Ryan and I have had our fair share of ups and downs; however, I feel that I have had a hard time allowing those experiences to draw us closer. In fact, some of those experiences in the past have seemed to push us farther apart. I have realized that I have been holding back from him a lot when it comes to intimacy in our relationship. It is one way that I gain control, which is definitely not good.

    I know that there are many ways to pursue one another intimately. The author included some great examples, and I plan on using some of those ideas to change how I have been viewing intimacy thus far in my marriage. I feel that by doing so, I will have the power to change my marriage for the better by drawing us both closer to God and one another.

  2. Hi Ladies,

    I had a great and productive weekend... I hope you all did as well. Were you able to go to church with your husband today? Justin has to work on Sundays, but today I did get to go to church with my mom who is usually out of town. I am so blessed.

    Intimacy... I know we talked about how praying together is a form of intimacy before. But I really liked the list that Jennifer included in today's reading as well. I think as each of us have mentioned, one thing in particular that holds us back from being completely intimate and unveiled with our husbands is fear of vulnerability. Being vulnerable, putting yourself out there, taking a "risk" so to speak can be scary-especially in today's society that teaches us to protect ourselves and put up a guard. I think it is more important to protect our marriages by being intimate than putting up that guard that ultimately has the potential to destroy our marriages.

    While Justin and I already do a lot of the things of Jennifer's list, the one area I am not doing so hot with is the intimacy in sex. It is not that I try to withhold sex from my husband on purpose. It is hard for me to really pinpoint why I am lacking in this form of intimacy. Maybe it's my insecurities, maybe it's that I am taking oral contraceptives and they are known to reduce sex drive, maybe I fear he will get tired of me, or maybe I let my stress and fatigue of each day get the best of me. I am honestly not sure. I have been trying to make a conscience effort to initiate and increase the frequency. It was eye opening to me to read the scripture in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 and learn that God specifically sets guidelines on the topic of sex in marriage.

    Out of curiosity, do you ladies feel your husbands struggle to be intimate with you in certain ways, too?


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